Third Time's a Charm [Novikov Clan 4] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 2

  When she said no…all hell broke loose. If she didn’t do what he told her to do, Kirk would call her a selfish bitch. After all, he worked forty- to fifty-hour weeks to provide for her. She could hear his voice in her head clearly, all those questions he would batter her with. What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you just do what I ask? I’m not asking too much. It’s just a little harmless fun. After all I do for you, why can’t you do this one thing for me. Don’t you love me? Don’t you want me to be happy? She sneered sarcastically.

  How could she possibly have friends when she didn’t even want to be honest with herself? There were so many sins that lay at her feet, so many things that she wasn’t proud of. She had only been married to Kirk for three years and before that, she’d been married to Aaron. In fact, she married him as soon as she’d been kicked out of her parent’s house, a few days after the accident. Two abusive men, one emotionally tortured her and the other physically attacked her when he was drunk. How was it possible that she attracted all the losers? Did they look at her a see a sign on her forehead…weak and needy woman, please abuse me?

  Gritting her teeth, Beth wiped the tears off her cheeks. She was sick and tired of men. Her life had become a giant rollercoaster and she really wanted to get off the ride. Even if she had to live on the streets, it was better than losing more of herself each and every day. How much was she worth? A hell of a lot more than she sold herself for, that was sure.

  Beth squinted her eyes as the sun glared into the windshield. A sparkle caught her attention and she was momentarily distracted by the diamond on her finger. It looked so out of place on her small hand. Using her other hand, she pulled the ring off and tossed it into the cup holder. She was no longer Beth Maier. As of this moment, she was Beth Steele and she was starting over.

  “Anchorage, Alaska…here I come.”

  Chapter 2

  Beth yawned and stretched her back, trying to get comfortable in her seat. Glancing down at the clock, she was stunned to realize she’d been driving for eight hours. Where had the time gone? She wanted to push herself, to keep going, but she couldn’t. There was no way she’d make it all the way to Anchorage without stopping, and if she wasn’t careful, she’d fall asleep.

  She couldn’t remember how long it had been since crossing over from the United States to Canada. The last sign she’d read was for the city of Williams Lake. Rubbing her eyes with one hand, Beth moved to the slow lane. She needed to get off at the next exit and find some food and a hotel. A good night’s sleep would do her a world of good. She was exhausted enough to pass out without thinking about Kirk or her unknown future.

  Pulling off the exit, Beth stopped at the light and looked around. It was late, and although she hated fast food, she needed to eat something. She hadn’t had any sort of nutrients since breakfast. A neon sign caught her eye and Beth put her blinker on and turned right. Thank goodness something was open twenty-four hours.

  Beth held down the button on the armrest and her window automatically came down. The outside air blew in and Beth inhaled the freshness. Summertime had always been her favorite season. She loved the warm evenings and tonight wasn’t any different. When it was her turn, she ordered a burger, fries, and a drink before pulling forward and paying.

  She placed the bag on her lap, opened it and grabbed a handful of fries. Beth shoved them in her mouth, groaning as the flavor of salty greasiness exploded on her tongue. Yummy! I’ve missed this. How many years have I gone without fast food? How many years have I eaten tasteless, dressing-free salads and cardboard in order to stay the perfect size six? And then a six was too big for that fucking prick.

  Looking around, Beth was hoping that she would spot a hotel. She was exhausted, but more than that, she wanted to walk around. Her muscles were starting to tighten from sitting in the same position for too many hours. Nothing seemed as important as a hot shower and a clean, comfortable bed. Beth stopped at the next red light and quickly grabbed the burger out of the bag. She used one hand to unwrap it and took a bite as she stepped on the gas pedal.

  When a Budget Inn came into view, Beth put her blinker on and pulled into the driveway. The parking lot was full as she drove around, hoping to find a spot. She wasn’t sure how safe it was in this area. Heck, she’d never been anywhere alone, not in years. When she finally found a spot, she shoved the gear into park and shut the ignition off.

  Beth grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder before getting out of her SUV. Standing on shaky legs, she stretched her back and listened as her joints cracked and popped back into place. Damn, that feels good.

  * * * *

  Someone was looking out for her, that’s for sure. There was only one room left and she snagged it. Beth practically skipped to her car and opened the door. She rifled through her things until she managed to pull out a clean pair of clothes. Throwing all of her worldly possessions in without packing hadn’t been the best idea she’d ever had.

  Yawning, Beth locked her vehicle and went directly to her room. The key card opened the door and she was relieved that the place was clean and in good shape. She was so tired, but she needed to clean up first before she climbed into bed. Locking the door behind her, Beth went right to the bathroom and started the shower.

  When steam billowed from the small enclosure, she stripped off her clothes and climbed in. The hot water sprayed down on her, washing the day away. For the first time all day, she managed to exhale. She hadn’t used her credit cards since leaving Seattle and she didn’t plan on ever using them again. She didn’t want any sort of paper trail leading to the former Mrs. Maier. Nope, that woman was dead, gone, and buried.

  Grabbing the hotel-issued soap, Beth quickly cleaned herself before washing her hair. After being in the shower for far too long, she shut the water off, grabbed a towel, and climbed out. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, studying herself as she dried off. The once smiling, happy face was gone and now, an older woman stared back at her. It was the eyes, her eyes looked vacant. That was the only word she could think that described it.

  Dropping the towel to the floor, Beth leaned against the counter and stared at her face. The scar she had received from a car accident almost a lifetime ago was gone. It had been a huge attention getter, dominating the whole left side of her face. Now, it was gone thanks to a very prominent plastic surgeon. Kirk had taken care of that almost right after their first meeting. He had expectations, wanted his wife to look good on his arm. He’d wanted perfection and didn’t mind spending a small fortune to make her picture perfect.

  Beth shook her head and left the bathroom, leaving the light on. She didn’t want to be surrounded by darkness. She needed light to help her feel a bit comfortable. Hell, she was so screwed up. Would there ever be a time that she would be okay? Would she ever feel normal again?

  Pulling back the blanket and sheets, Beth climbed into bed and covered herself. She was so tired, exhausted really, and completely miserable. She wanted to cry herself to sleep, but the tears never came. Instead, she fell fast asleep in a matter of seconds.

  * * * *

  “Is that what you’re wearing?” he asked, his face screwed up with confusion.

  Beth looked down at what she was wearing, trying to find fault with the outfit. Tonight was date night and she had on a black pencil skirt, a red blouse with black embroidery, and a pair of four-inch pumps. She rubbed her clammy hands down the sides of her skirt, unsure of what was wrong with what she had on.

  “Princess, I’m taking you to the special club tonight. Why don’t you wear the cute little schoolgirl outfit I bought. I want to see you in it.”

  Just thinking of the “special club” made her shudder. She didn’t want to go there. She didn’t want him to parade her around the place looking for other couples or men to fuck her. It made her sick to her stomach. He treated her as if she were his teenaged daughter instead of an adult. God forbid that she make an actual decision.

  “I don’t want to go there tonight. Why don�
��t we go out to dinner, maybe a movie or we could go to the casino? You like to play poker.” She was willing to do anything as long as he wouldn’t take her there, but she knew that she was fighting a losing battle.

  “I work hard all week to provide for you, Beth. On the weekend, I would like to be able to unwind and have a little fun.” Beth’s shoulders slumped.

  She knew this was going to happen. He always made her feel so guilty. He did everything, she did nothing. Walking back toward the closet, she pulled out the overtly sexual outfit and started to change. This outfit always made her feel like a piece of arm candy, like an object instead of a wife.

  “Ninety percent of this relationship is about you, Beth. All I ask for is that ten percent of the time, you think about me and my needs. Going to the club is supposed to be fun. Don’t you have fun when we go?”

  “I just want you to love me, be with me. I don’t understand why we have to go there. Those women aren’t more attractive than me. They don’t love you. Why do you want to fuck other women? Why does it turn you on to see other men fucking me?” Her stomach rolled as acid rose up in her throat.

  She hated having this same conversation. Hated that he never understood what she was saying. Why couldn’t he love her? Why didn’t he want to be faithful?

  “Sex doesn’t equal love. I love you, you’re in my heart. Think of those other people like living, breathing sex toys. They mean nothing. We play with them and then put them back on the shelf and come home. Now, I want to go out tonight. I want you to wear the cute outfit I bought you. It makes me happy to see you wearing it. Don’t you want me to be happy? Don’t be selfish. Do something for me for once.” She hated him after each and every speech.

  He made her feel inadequate. Was she really that bad of a wife? Was she really such a horribly selfish person? Not once in her whole life had she been called selfish. Although, she wasn’t close to her family nor did she have any friends. Doubt covered her like a blanket. He wasn’t asking that much of her, was he? He only wanted to go out every other weekend. It wasn’t that big of a deal.

  Beth changed in silence. She put on the little schoolgirl outfit and checked herself out in the mirror. A black V-neck T-shirt, a short red and black plaid skirt, black fishnet stockings, and four-inch patent leather Mary Jane shoes. She looked like a teenager and although she wouldn’t mind looking younger, it made her feel ill thinking about all those old, disgusting men checking her out. Staring, touching, and asking her husband to fuck her.

  “Put your hair in pigtails. It makes the whole outfit come together.”

  “I’ll practically look like a child.”

  “The men there find it sexy, and so do I. Now, be my good girl and do what I asked.”

  “I’m going to this place. I’ll wear this outfit, but I’m refusing to put my hair in pigtails.” She put her foot down.

  She wasn’t some sort of teenaged porn image for a bunch of sick fucks. Sure, Kirk knew exactly what these men wanted. He was one of them. She didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to do this. What option did she have? Where else could she go? She felt as if she were between a rock and a hard place. This man had made her incredibly dependent on him.

  “That’s disappointing, but if that makes you happy, you don’t need to change your hair. Are you ready?”

  “Sure,” she sighed, not the least bit excited about going out.

  They left the house. She’d never felt so disconnected from her husband before. Nights like these, he seemed to be a different person. Sex was the only thing on his mind. He didn’t care that she wasn’t the least bit interested in “swinging.” This so called private club wasn’t anything fantastic. People only showing up to rub up against a perfect stranger and hoping that they measured up so that they could fuck someone else while their “devoted, loving partner” watched.

  They pulled up almost an hour later, and Beth took a few deep breaths, hoping that she could build her courage. The huge building had two bars and dance floors, both playing different kinds of music, catering to its guests. But the back rooms, those were scarier in her opinion.

  In order to gain access, you had to walk through a curtain and be prepared to play. The room was dark, all the lights shut off. The only way to see through the black void was by fake stars that shined from the ceiling. They probably set it up to create a romantic atmosphere, but to her, the place was creepy. The whole back room was covered in beds, with towels instead of sheets. Remove the dirty ones after you’re done fucking. That was the rule. Condoms and lube were free, and there were huge tubs filled with both throughout the place. How romantic…not!

  The men and women that frequented the place were in various forms of dress, more naked than clothed. Beth walked toward the front door with Kirk at her side. She held onto his arm, hoping for strength when she really wanted to run away. Once inside, all eyes were on her. She was considered the young’un, and at thirty-two, that meant there were a lot of “old” men checking her out. She usually loved older men, but here, it felt as if she were being leered at. Sized up.

  “Kirk, welcome back. What are the chances of me being able to pleasure your beautiful wife tonight?”

  She almost gagged at those words. She dug her fingernails into his forearm, holding herself still. Didn’t he think that was disgusting? How could her husband think that this was okay, normal even? He didn’t care who fucked her. His only thought was on his cock and which pussy he’d be shoving his meat into. He only cared about climaxing, pumping his disgusting hips as he pounded into some unknown chick.

  * * * *

  Beth jerked awake and threw herself out of the bed. She tripped on her way to the bathroom and barely made it before throwing up. Hanging her head, she emptied her stomach and heaved until there was nothing left. Tears covered her cheeks as she sobbed to herself. How could she have been so stupid? How was it possible for one woman to have the worst possible luck when it came to love and men?

  Licking her lips, Beth forced herself to stand. She stumbled over to the sink and turned on the cold water before shoving her head under the faucet and filling her mouth. Swishing the water around, she spit it out before taking a few deep gulps, washing the burn from her throat. Beth swallowed rapidly, took a few deep breaths and headed back to bed.

  She was still tired and needed a few more hours before getting on the road. Beth also wanted to be well rested before calling Emma. So many questions ran through her mind, but Beth pushed them away. She couldn’t deal with that now. No, she just needed to pass out. Lying back down, Beth said a prayer that she would go to sleep without dreaming. She didn’t want to think about Kirk or the hell he’d put her through for three years.

  She relaxed, closing her eyes and letting sleep take over.

  Chapter 3

  Beth powered on her cell phone and pulled into a small rundown station for gas. Hopefully they have fresh coffee. She’d been driving for most of the day and had lost track of how long she’d been on the road. Her mind was a jumbled mess. She gripped the phone and contemplated her next move very carefully.

  She’d already deleted all twenty voice messages from Kirk, without listening to them. It didn’t matter what he had to say and frankly, she was sick of excuses. The last thing she wanted to hear was his voice. What could he really say anyway? She never denied him when it came to sex. Nope, every night she put out and having a real headache didn’t stop her from trying to please her man. None of it was her fault, and she’d be damned if he’d slap a guilt trip on her. He could kiss her ass. He was a cheating bastard, and that didn’t have anything to do with her. She wasn’t inadequate.

  “I was a good wife and I did everything I could to make him happy. He’s a pitiful excuse for a man. Narcissistic bastard!” She hit the steering wheel with the palm of her hand and tried to reel in her anger.

  Beth sighed and glanced at the phone in her hand. Keeping one eye on the road, she scrolled through her contacts until she found Emma’s name. She took a deep breath and hope
d like hell her cousin would allow her to visit even if it was only for a day or two. Heck, she could get a hotel room and just stay in the area if she wasn’t completely welcome. Maybe with some time, Emma would be able to forgive her and they could be friends again. They used to be really close, like sisters, rather than cousins.

  Beth just needed some time to think about the next step in her life. She didn’t have a job, a place to live, or any sort of skills. Although, she’d gone to college, she had never used her degree. So, technically she had no “real” work experience. With more than a little courage, she pressed send and listened to the “Lil’ Red Riding Hood” ringtone for a moment. She was about to hang up when a gruff voice answered the phone.

  “Hello.”

  Beth glanced down at the screen. It showed Emma’s name, but the voice was all male. She swallowed down her panic, hoping that Emma hadn’t changed her number. If she had, then Beth was really screwed. She didn’t have anywhere else to go.

  “Um…hi, I was trying to reach Emma.”

  “Yeah, this is Emma’s phone.”

  “May I speak with her?” It seemed odd to have to ask that particular question since she was calling the right number.

  “That depends, are you calling about something from her past?” Guilt stabbed her right in the heart.

  She hadn’t been kind to Emma in a really long time. Hell, she’d blamed Emma for the accident that took Lindsey and the scar that used to cover half her face. She shouldn’t have been so cruel and uncaring, but her own life had sucked and she’d held Emma responsible for that as well. Beth knew that each and every decision she’d made was her own fault. The consequences rested solely on her shoulders.

  “No, I don’t want to talk about the past,” she whispered then cleared her throat, wanting to sound strong and confident. “I left Seattle and I–I just wanted to see my cousin.”